Copyright 2006 Creative Insight Consulting
Loving people can be particularly tricky when important relationships are unhealthy. Its easier to love those youre in healthy relationships with. If youre up for changing and deepening all of the relationships around you, then I invite you to master the art of unconditional love. Unconditional love means that you love people with no agenda to your love. You love them because -- you love them. You dont love them so theyll do something. You have no expectations in return for your love. Sound like a challenge? If youre reading this then theres a good chance youre ready for raising your awareness around unconditional love!
Here are some tips on how to practice unconditional love:
1. Experience being love, free from anything else. Its important to remember that unconditional love is a way of being, not a way of doing. That means it is more a feeling than a task. This can take some practice, as our society is filled with action-oriented activities. Practice unconditional love by sitting quietly, in your home or out in nature, or lying in bed at night, and just experience a state of love through your breathing. Let go of thoughts other than those about love. Bring someone to mind whom you love, or a place you love. If you practice this on a subway or bus, watch the faces of the strangers around you become alive and beautiful!
2. Take care of yourself first! Practicing unconditional love doesnt necessarily mean to visit your family for Thanksgiving, leaving you wrecked for days and weeks. It doesnt mean putting yourself in harms way physically, sexually or emotionally. You may practice from afar, if need be. There are no rules in what practicing unconditional love looks like.
3. Unconditional love starts with you! If youre focused on mastering unconditional love, theres no better place to start than with yourself! Youll experience compassion, acceptance and understanding as well as a greater sense of intimacy when you love yourself unconditionally. What we put out in the world we get back, so loving yourself unconditionally will be mirrored back to you by other people! It will seem as though theyve miraculously changed, but youll know theyre responding to the unconditional love youre exuding!
4. Unconditional love is meant to be shared and practiced with others in your immediate family, in your community and with the world. Theres a saying that says, Love isnt love unless you give it away! Imagine the world wed be living in if unconditional love were practiced everywhere 24/7?
Just like any area of mastery, it may be best to start with small, attainable wins such as going above and beyond for people you have healthy friendships with. These are safe environments in which to experience giving and receiving unconditional love. Remember to be open to receiving unconditional love as well as giving it. However, if you expect to receive it from your actions, youre putting a condition on the love youre giving. Regardless of whether love happens to come back to you from others, the satisfaction of loving with no strings attached can put you on a different relationship level. The rewards will be sweeter than you ever imagined, as can only be experienced after putting unconditional love into play in your life!
As you learn the lessons of what it takes to build increasing intimacy, loving support and unprecedented relationships, your ability to unconditionally love those who are, lets say, more difficult to find it in your heart to love, will improve. See, its not about the other person its about YOU practicing mastery in the area of unconditional love. It doesnt matter if the other person doesnt get it. It doesnt matter if they do or dont change. It doesnt matter if they understand your actions or take in the love you have toward them. True mastery of unconditional love is greatly tested in unhealthy situations. The perfection in dealing with unhealthy relationships is that you can practice unconditional love full on. Not because you should love everyone, but because it is the way you want to live your life. |
